Pete The Market Trader

The cold weather has meant a run on thermals and as a result I have run out of certain sizes and colours.  Now why anyone cares what colour their thermals are, bearing in mind that you wear them under your clothes, eludes me but there you go.

I had this guy on the stall on Wednesday and the conversation went like this.

“Can I have a medium thermal in grey?”

“No mate sorry I’ve sold out of grey”.

“But I want grey”.

“That’s as maybe, I haven’t got any”.

Clearly thinking that I am lying to him he then spends five minutes going through eight trays of thermals looking for something that I’ve already told him that I haven’t got.  After looking through every one he says.

“Are you sure you haven’t got any grey?”

I look at him and say “Ask me the question again”.

He just stares dumbfounded so I repeat.

“Ask me the question again, this time I’ll give you the answer you want”.

“Have you got any medium grey”, he asks.

“Yes”, I reply.

“Where?” he says and so I point to the eight trays that he has just been through.

He only goes and looks through them again and then says:

“I can’t find any”.

“That’s because I haven’t got any grey!”, I shout.

What do these people think?  It’s not like I don’t want their money but I can’t sell something that I haven’t got.

That’s this week’s report from Pete the Market Trader.  The man on the street.  Literally.

Black Friday may be good news for the shopping centres and the online retailers but on the market it’s the kiss of death because all of the punters are elsewhere.

In all honesty we all have an excuse for why the day is bad, it either too hot or too cold or it’s the end of the month or there’s a festival on or there’s a tube strike.

One day I am going to write a book and call it one hundred and one excuses for why I am having a bad day and may favourite chapter will be: ‘Excuses that you can only use once in your lifetime’.

My favourite excuse ever was the one I once heard while I was standing on East Street market and a trader I didn’t know sidled up to talk to me.

“How’s your day?” He asked.

“So, so” I told him, “How’s yours?” I countered already knowing what was coming.

“Quiet” he replied.

“Oh yeah”, I said, “Why do you think it’s so quiet today?”

“Well”, he said, “It’s probably because of the solar eclipse”.

I very doubt that I will ever hear that excuse again.

That’s this week’s report from Pete the market trader, the man on the street, literally.